I am getting serious about learning japanese, but I can’t bring myself to study at school properly.
Once my friend said to me that I want to become like those that people write about in wikipedia and stuff (she means famous people basically), I guess she’s right. What I want the most right now is a group of people to work with. I have to say that I can’t “manage” myself when I am alone.
I’m listning to aqua timez’s let loose right now. I don’t thing I’m ever going to get bored of it. It’s just so well done.
Never mind, I was saying that I want to become famous, I have to do something then. What should I do. I don’t find joy in studying, it’s boring and I am not curious about it (that’s not good, I know). My dream is to be a keyboardist in a pop/rock band. But that’s not appropriate to where I live (whatever scale you consider). And here again, I don’t have the necessary knowledge to do that (I’ve never been taught how to play piano, and I don’t have enough time to learn it all by myself, but I am trying every now and then).
Actually,I imagine myself being the vocalist in a band. It sounds cool, but even when I’m imaging it, it’s hard, because I know myself. The truth is, I can confront the crowd if no one knows who I am. I think I might do it putting a disguise on (I am serious).
Sometimes I imagine myself acting. I think it’s not that difficult, I believe actors must have the extraordinary ability to believe in the fiction they’re palying, that way they can be true to themselves when acting and be natural.
When I think of it now that I’m wrinting this, is showbiz the only path to fame?. Of course not. But the thing is, it’s the fastest and easiest way to make people look cool. I’ve noticed that people working in this field have no brains (I mean they rarely have a good academic cursus), instead they are thick skinned and are amazingly good at interacting with cameras and people, and that itself is not given to anybody.
The path that was chosen to me, (I don’t think that I chose it), is to work in something related to science. Some would say that that’s cool, but I just don’t like it. It’s the safest thing to do, I admit, but I don’t like it. And as long as I don’t like it, I won’t go far, I’ll just bearly do what I have to do. What I would like to do, what I would really love to do, is music. I want to perform in public. I love to play music, and I think being a musician in a music band is the awsomest thing that could happen to me. I really want to learn music , I think that I would never be tired of it. I imagine myself just practicing, practicing, because I am fond of it, I mean it.
I know that it’s not easy and that the music industry is harsh, and so on, but I don’t aim at making money out of it, that’s not the most important thing to me. I just want to play music and share it with the largest public possible. Now, unfortunately, I am not even a proper beginner at piano, and there’s just no way I learn it properly.
Sometimes I say to myself that there’s no point in thinking like that because it’s too late, plus such things are seen as delinquence and stuff like that where I live, moreover I’m afraid of wasting my life doing pointless things and screw it up because of that in my postmortem life, you see. What I want when I grow up is to have enough money to travel around the world, learn new languages, discover new cultures, make good friends, learn and perform music, that’s life to me. If I fail in achieving this my life would be a waste.
I want to learn and perform music, I want to learn new languages, I want to travel around the world, I will do it, no matter what, it’s a matter of time.